so today after my workout at the gym, i was driving away from the parking lot, notice 2 witnesses on the sidewalk with their witness cart, one older man with a young female, related?
not sure but as i drove away it finally hit me, all this buildup & staying strong since my awakening finally hit me .... just crying & saw my life flashing before my eyes just couldn't keep myself strong anymore, especially thinking of my child & other things happening in my life currently, which are hitting reality...... i came home & had a conversation with my son about our weekly mtgs, we have missed the ms mtgs for a few times/days in a row now, does anyone check on us?
... anyway i finally told him that for the time being mommy needs to figure out some things with god & jesus first & for the time being won't be making the ms mtgs & will be doing our bible study at home... thankfully he understands & just told him that god understands how i feel & is ok with it.... it's difficult to feel alone in this, i feel broken with the other things happening in my life, not wt or jw related, & just want to escape & run away, i don't have many friends & my non jw family is not a close family, we were never close, & i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to.... people that know me & interact with me have no clue the turmoil i'm going thru inside, i pretend like nothing is wrong with my life .
It is hard when you have to pretend everything is ok. When we started missing some meetings we did get one elder asking us if we were ok, but people don't really get it at all when you start to slow down.
You can be sure that you have friends here. We feel your pain and your turmoil. I think you will find the support you need here.
i'm reaching out here, i've known ttatt for about 3-4 years now.
sadly when i first grasped it i had a total mental breakdown as i was a hard core firm to the core pioneer and 110% believer of my faith.!
now nearly 2years on after my breakdown i still have to attend to please my jw wife.
i just heard this a few minutes ago by a jw friend who is still an elder in my old hall.
the kingdom hall i used to attend and my mom still attends was paid off many years ago and serves about 6 congregations.
one of the english congregations has a lot of financially well of members.
when one leaves the religion and fades it starts to become obvious that they move on with out you but this is not enough for them so they also marginalize you, loose respect for you etc.
they even tell stories about you.
example my wife talking to my mother tells her that i now believe aliens came to this planet and created man.
my wife has recently become very curious about my activity on my ipad.
i delete my browsing history but if she should discover this site and my identity here, she will gladly hand me over to the hangman, something i have managed to avoid for quite some time now,.
i hit the "sign out" button, but i find that i'm still logged in!
My wife also often asks me "what are you reading on your tablet?" She suspects that my recent expressions of doubt about various things WT may be connected to what I am reading but she hasn't come right out and said it directly.
everyday i wake up with knots in my stomach and trouble breathing.
my life continues to go into a downward spiral.
in the past, i had my dependence on god.
Millie2010
Lovely post. Short, to the point, and loving.
tomorrow's wt study, paragraph 4 says this - "the early bible students understood the expression rendered in the king james version "my brethren" to refer to those who would rule with christ as well as to all of mankind after they are restored to earthly perfection.".
rutherford decided in 1923 to change this teaching, and create an elite group of christians.
for 92 years the men running the wtbts have perpetuated & embellished this false teaching - especially so during the past three years - and hidden the bible truth about christ's brothers from millions of people fearful to question the org - created doctrine!.
recently i heard through video link to our kh a talk by bro loesch where he attacked university study (again) but this time he prefaced his remarks by saying, and i quote, "the faithful slave does not forbid you to go to university.
" so this was a bad start as his following remarks made it clear that this was just a way of seeming reasonable while basically saying that we shouldn't do it.
he went on to use an illustration i think he has used before about a man with ocd who decided to kill himself.
quote from today's watchtower study article that's being studied at the halls (march 15, 2015, page 24):.
"understanding the illustration of the talents".
"when the master rewards the slaves.".
somebody on another thread suggested that those still in could express their opinions on steven lett's performance.
i am still in and i was shocked, dismayed and saddened by it.
i became a witness over 30 yrs ago and the issue of donations was a non-issue for so many years.. now, it is a huge one for the org.
Somebody on another thread suggested that those still in could express their opinions on Steven Lett's performance. I am still in and I was shocked, dismayed and saddened by it. I became a Witness over 30 yrs ago and the issue of donations was a non-issue for so many years.
Now, it is a huge one for the org. How could the GB imagine they would get away with it? Do they really take us for morons? We are thinking, feeling human beings. We have a brain to work out when we are being taken advantage of. The destruction in my confidence in the GB started two years ago with many of the doctrinal changes, accelerated with this latest donation insanity, and is capped by the completely illogical and scripturally unsupported series of wt articles from the May 15 study articles that we start this wknd. God help us. We need it.
